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 Hi everyone! Thanks for checking out my Portfoli The Beauty and leaving me some feedback.


(Lots of love from the Noun Project)


Comments

  1. Hi Carlee,

    I am not sure if something went wrong when you published your site, but the homepage of your storybook/profile is blank except for the header with "The Beauty" on it. Also, I am not seeing an Introduction page or anything. Again, I am not sure if there was an issue when publishing or if you intentionally left those pieces out, but those are just my thoughts.

    Besides that, I read your first entry, "Innocence," and I enjoyed it! It's funny how many different versions of the Beauty and the Basilisk I have read this semester--I even wrote a version myself! My only comment on your story is that the ending feels very rushed. The beginning was great but then you cut it very short at the end. I would really like to here all of the details you could come up with! You are a very talented writer and by cutting the story off like that, it leaves readers like me on edge, waiting for more.

    -Libby

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    Replies
    1. Hey Carlee!! I like the name of your portfolio, but I think it would be extremely helpful if you had an introduction and picture explaining why you named it "The Beauty," and what the reader could expect from your portfolio.

      As Libby said, there have been so many retellings of the Beauty and the Basilisk. I think that is really cool, as it is a story most are familiar with, but there are so many options for flexibility and retelling it also. Overall, I loved your version! Your writing style is cohesive and mature, and all the details really line up (regarding the farmer, stone, selling milk, etc). The idea of using the father is different than the other retellings I have read this year, although I guess it is more in line with Disney's Beauty and the Beast.

      I would suggest adding some dialogue, just so the reader can have a better understanding of what is going on between the characters. I often write without dialogue, but I do know it is hard as a reader to picture how the characters are interacting without dialogue.

      Delete
  2. I enjoy the first story a lot. I enjoy how you changed the request of a rose from the youngest daughter to be more broad, in this case "something beautiful." I also enjoy that the something that is beautiful is something you are fond of and collect. It is a good thing you included that in your author's note, it helps form a personal connection
    with your readers. I do not know exactly why but I like that the creature has a more broad description of a "beast" rather than a basilisk. Maybe it is because it leaves interpretation up to the reader's imagination.
    I would suggest connecting this story more to the title, you titled it innocence and while I do see innocent undertones I see more of the inner beauty and humbleness themes. Also I would add an introduction that explains the whole Story book title as well as a hint of what your stories will be about.

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